Monday, April 26, 2010

Disappering Act

One of the most famous illusionists of all time is Harry Houdini. I don't know much about him except for the information I've gathered on the Internet. Case in point, this guy could disappear and make stuff disappear.

Ordinarily, the average working Kenyan employs a housie a.k.a house-help, maid, mboch (Sheng) to tidy up the house. For those with little kids the house-help is usually resident but for the majority (I think) the person comes on designated days of the week to tidy up the kraal. This is the arrangement I currently have with one cleaning lady whom I shall refer to as "Auntie".

Last week, some maize flour fell victim to my Ugali spinning prowess. This white, solid cake-like mass was accompanied by honey-glazed chicken. The practice at home is to get the raw cereal and haul is to a posho mill for...milling (duh) So, on this eventful night, the flour (or flawa/flower as the case may be) container was full to the brim less the little that was subjected to my gastric juices.

As usual, Auntie came the next day to tidy up the house and all was well in the evening when I  got home. A day later, the Ugali cravings struck again. It is at this point I almost collapsed. 

For starters, the flour container felt lighter than usual. Hmmm. I placed it on the kitchen shelf and took a look at my biceps. They were still the same size; if not deflated. In two days, the flour level had dropped by half. HALF!! Now this is not a small container. It can hold about 10 litres of water. Did the flour evaporate from a sealed container? Had it been mixed with some radioactive material that caused to combust without smoke? Of course not!! Auntie had pulled a Houdini!

Auntie has been coming over for almost 3 years now but that doesn't give her the right to expedite quantity control techniques on house supplies. What happened to common courtesy? "Ask and it shall be given unto you", the great book says. 

There's been a serious breach of trust here and that warrants an inquisition and perhaps a summary dismissal.


Our Kid said...

If she asked, you would probably say yes, so she must have figured, why not just spare you the asking.

It is a weird way to think, but sometimes people are wired to think like that. Hope Auntie doesn't get ejected because of her time saving thoughts.

kalakoder said...

@ Our Kid Interesting line of thought but that kind of preemption borders on disrespect.

Couch Tato said...

Question is what else has she been taking that you haven't noticed.

-remember when you had the runs and you were two squares short of enough tissue?